Have you ever noticed how when you are trying to do something right your best friends suddenly become your biggest critics? Like when you are in the process of trying to loose a few pounds and suddenly everyone is offering you food or cake. Sometimes it's even worse, sometimes you are trying to make a decision based upon what you feel is right; and in the flash of an eye your closest kin turn on you and cast you out as if you are some kind of leper or something.
This is a situation caused by guilt. Whenever you are doing something that somebody else thinks maybe they should have been doing or should have done, this enemy effect is bound to happen. Especially in friends and family because they see the effects of you choices first hand. It's interesting, because these same people that have the enemy effect happen to them when they see things you are trying to improve on happen and become full of pride and guilt; are also the first people to glory in your downfall. Now it may not seem that they are "glorying" in anything when something you try fails but you can bet they will be there to show you exactly where you "went wrong".
Maybe using an example will illustrate what I mean. Lets say a certain person where to choose to do something a little out of the regular range of what society believes to be normal; for example join a religion that says it's christian but on the same hand has many things that don't fit into the regular christian ideals. This could be replaced by things such as homeschooling or home birthing or paying for things instead of getting into debt. All of these things have good end game results when done properly and with care and intelligence. We will stick with the first example that of a religion. Now, lets say that you tell your friends and family you have found the true church, one with all the answers. First there will be the initial shock of them being a little mad that you are not going to do things the way THEY would have done them. That can happen with anything; but then comes the real pain when to your frustration these same friends and family begin to treat you differently altogether. This is usually due to three things, firstly: you have changed; your life is going in a different direction than what they are used to and they don't know how to act around you anymore. Secondly: they truly don't understand you or what you believe; either because they are afraid of it themselves, or they are too lazy or set in their ways (like confederate slave keepers) to look into the reasons themselves. The final reason is The Enemy Effect, they can see the good that is coming into your life because of your choices and they wish they had the courage to change their own. They are angry because it seems like you have it all together, like you are part of something they never had the guts to do. In essence you make them feel like less of a person and they hate that about you. You make them feel uncomfortable with some of the choices they have made and they can't see past that. No matter how much they tell you, that you are making stupid decisions there is a part of them that yearns to have your courage and dedication.
Now I want to make it clear that not everything works this way. Someone can make a poor decision and it is just that, in the name of change and self improvement they choose a path that makes their life worse. The way you can tell between the two is simple. Happiness, harmony and love; if these three things are present then someone is truly on a road to improvement. If however someone is afraid, worried, bitter, edgy, selfish, defensive, contentious, deceitful, controlling and judgmental then this individual is not happy with his or herself, this is a person that will find it hard not to despise people that have found something that though maybe difficult actually gives them true purpose and happiness. An art upon which to dedicate themselves.
